The quality of your leadership depends less on what you say and more on the quality of the credit union leadership questions you ask. The questions you ask can create blame or curiosity, either pushing people away or developing them further.
Don’t you hate being in a room when something goes sideways?
Tension rises. Silence stretches. And suddenly, everyone’s looking for the culprit. Too often, leadership’s role turns into an interrogation—questions designed to close a case rather than open a conversation. Bad questions create defensiveness; great questions create curiosity, discovery and clarity.
As poker legend Erik Seidel famously noted, “A little more curiosity and a little less certainty.”
It’s advice that applies just as powerfully at the conference table as it does to the poker table. When the stakes are high, certainty makes us rigid. Curiosity keeps us in the game. Great credit union leadership questions create curiosity and change the entire direction of a conversation.
Here are ten moments where your questions can either cast blame or create curiosity.
The 10 Moments Every Leader Faces (and the Two Credit Union Leadership Questions They May Ask)
1) When something goes wrong
- Blame-oriented: “Whose fault is this?”
- Great leader: “What happened, and what can we learn from it?”
2) When a goal isn’t reached
- Blame-oriented: “Why didn’t you get it done?”
- Great leader: “What got in the way, and what could I have done to help?”
3) When someone makes a mistake
- Blame-oriented: “How could you make such a mistake?”
- Great leader: “What did this teach us that we didn’t know before?”
4) When an employee brings a problem
- Blame-oriented: “Why are you bringing me this?”
- Great leader: “What do you think we should do about it?”
(This builds leaders, not dependents.)
5) When the team disagrees
- Blame-oriented: “Why can’t everyone just get on board?”
- Great leader: “What are we missing?”
(Disagreement becomes curiosity, not conflict.)
6) When performance is poor
- Blame-oriented: “Why aren’t you performing?”
- Great leader: “What’s preventing you from performing at your best?”
7) When an employee struggles
- Blame-oriented: “What’s wrong with this person?”
- Great leader: “What does this person need from me to succeed?”
8) When consumers complain
- Blame-oriented: “Why is this consumer so difficult?”
- Great leader: “What is the consumer trying to tell us?”
9) When the organization misses an opportunity
- Blame-oriented: “Who dropped the ball?”
- Great leader: “What did we fail to see?”
10) When the leader makes a mistake
- Blame-oriented: “How can I explain why this wasn’t really my fault?”
- Great leader: “What is my part in this?”
(The culture you lead is built on the questions you ask yourself.)
Ownership Creates Great Credit Union Leaders
There’s a dividing line between leaders who blame and leaders who lead:
- Blame-oriented: “Who is responsible?”
- Great leader: “What are we responsible for?”
One question points blame at a person. The other points to a path forward.
When you face a challenge today, will your first question close the door or open it?
Learn to Ask the Right Credit Union Leadership Questions
Asking the right credit union leadership questions is a soft skill often requiring leadership development. I’ve learned that over 30 years of this work. Reach out to Mark if you have interest in a free webinar from me (or to take advantage of Mark’s own incredible leadership training).
This article is authored by Rory Rowland, a long-time friend of Mark Arnold, a credit union consultant and former mayor of Independence, Missouri.
FAQS: WHAT ARE THE TWO TYPES OF CREDIT UNION LEADERSHIP QUESTIONS
Why do the questions a credit union leader asks matter so much?
Questions either create blame or curiosity — and that direction shapes everything that follows. Blame-oriented questions make people defensive and close conversations down. Curiosity-driven questions open them up, develop people, and move toward solutions. As poker legend Erik Seidel put it, “A little more curiosity and a little less certainty.”
What's the difference between a blame-oriented question and a great leadership question?
Blame-oriented questions point at a person; great leadership questions point toward a path forward. “Whose fault is this?” shuts down the room. “What happened, and what can we learn from it?” keeps it open. The shift from “who” to “what” is often all it takes to change the entire tone of a conversation.
How should a credit union leader respond when an employee brings them a problem?
Instead of “Why are you bringing me this?”, ask “What do you think we should do about it?” That single reframe builds independent thinking rather than dependency — and over time, it develops stronger leaders throughout the organization.
What should a leader ask themselves when they are the one who made a mistake?
“What is my part in this?” rather than “How can I explain why this wasn’t really my fault?” The culture of an organization is shaped by the questions a leader asks of themselves, not just of others. Ownership at the top sets the standard for everyone below it.
How can credit union leaders get better at asking the right questions?
Asking well is a soft skill that often requires deliberate development — it doesn’t come naturally under pressure. Leadership training focused on communication and accountability helps leaders build these habits before high-stakes moments demand them.
